I received this submission recently:
Dear Mediocre Stacy,
If you’re in a car traveling at the speed of light and you turn on the headlights, do they do anything? Thanks!
To the untrained eye, this appears to be a harmless joke. But when you’ve spent as many years as I have, living the reality of being a Mediocre, you understand what this submission is meant to be. Mediocres aren’t always the less than intellectually gifted ones, actually, we are, in general, more intelligent than Supers. It’s our societal perception that gets in the way.
Supers have always been the ones to play cruel tricks upon Mediocres. Take for example, this clip from the 1976 movie Carrie:
Sissy Spacek’s character is one who is timid, lacks self confidence, and becomes the victim of a Super’s prank. Supers most often don’t have to worry about revenge from Mediocres. We’re usually not passionate enough to carry out that kind of plan. BUT, in Carrie’s case, she had the gift of telekinesis. So she took advantage of it, at that moment, without concern for the long term consequences for such an action. This scenario really is the exception to how a Mediocre conducts themselves. But I would hope that maybe this Super that sent this note, and any Supers who happen to read this site, understand that any Mediocre they choose to mock, might have a talent or gift, and a momentary lapse in the Super/Mediocre caste system, and cause great damage.
I hope we all can come away from this post having learned something. Share this with a friend, and maybe there will be better days ahead for Mediocres. Right now though, I feel the need to go wash my breasts. As a young girl, that whole dirty pillow thing, settled into my mind wrong.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?!?! I totally feel the need to be here, fulfilling my life’s mission to assist Mediocres in this world. Now, I’m not sure if anyone has really picked up on this, but Mediocre Stacy is a politico. Kind of a local D list’r. I have politicians who contact me for my thoughts often. I really don’t understand this, but I try not to turn away anyone in need. This is why I love receiving those Dear Mediocre Stacy requests. I will continue to address those, but I think I want to incorporate my serious site in here, and do some mediocre mocking of politics. When I do radio hosting, I really don’t get to be myself.
Here we go:
Accepting your plea for company here in the Ask section, here goes. You have talked about being average but I have always told my daughter that half the people are below average. Implying it is better to be in the upper half. Because of their Super status are Supers automatically assumed to be in the upper half?
Phil in Indy
Interesting, Phil. We have addressed this from different angles previously. Please refer to
here and here. As you can see, it’s not always apparent externally who is and isn’t average, or in the case of this site, mediocre. It’s not necessary to have great accomplishments to be identified as a Super. Remember, Supers are born, not made. There are things in this world that are just out of our reach, and out of our control. In general, Mediocres learn this early on in life. Supers just have everything fall in line for them, and don’t understand the struggle that the rest of us endure, day in, and day out.
But to get to the point of actually answering your question . . . Supers are automatically assumed to be the ruling echelon of this world. But, really they are. Just look at the ridiculous antics, statements, and fashion choices Supers make, without any type of consequence. In some cases, they LITERALLY get away with murder. **cOuGh, OJ sImPsoN** Mediocres just can’t pull of those kind of stunts. I mean, how many times has Lindsey Lohan, or Charlie Sheen been arrested? A tear or two in the courtroom, a plea deal to go to rehab; and BAM!!! They’re in the clear. Can you imagine the consequences an individual such as myself would suffer? It’s a good thing that I can get away with wearing horizontal stripes.
I don’t know if that helps you any, but I think you did a Mediocre job in your attempt to educate your daughter about the world we live in. I guess that’s all I can ask.
There is a message on this site that needs to reach the masses. See, life isn’t perfect. It never has been, it never will be. Now, Mediocre Stacy has been at this parenting thing for quite some time. Her oldest son is on the downhill slide to 30, so she’s witnessed a lot over the years. Many successes, but more importantly, many failures as well. There is a growth and a strength that rises from the ashes of failure. Even the best laid plans can end in a manner we weren’t anticipating. Mediocre Stacy has always taught her three sons that failing is simply a natural part of life.
Mediocre Stacy has also taught her sons, that regardless of how special she thought they were, the moment they walked out that front door, no one else in the world thought the same of them. That every step towards an end goal, could potentially be quite painful. That having that end goal in sight, didn’t necessarily mean they would reach it. Don’t misunderstand this, Mediocre Stacy greatly encouraged her children, and set expectations for them.
But for so many years, Mediocre Stacy has watched women/mothers around her, relay their lives to others through rose tinted glasses. How accomplished the women stated they were. How accomplished these women stated their kids were. When in reality, there was great failure in both their professional and personal lives. In a world obsessed with narcissism, in a world where a child is rewarded for just showing up; Mediocre Stacy believes that this serves as a detriment to a child’s development. There is a healthy level of humility that we all must carry around with us, because in the blink of an eye, what you once thought you were, what you once put all of your efforts and worth into; can disappear. No person should judge their personal value based upon what is deemed different than others. After all, most people have something that could be defined as different than others.
Take Mediocre Stacy for example . . . An avid exerciser. It means nothing to Mediocre Stacy to ride her bike 150 miles a week. That’s normal for her. Or to climb a mountain, pushing herself so hard, she’s pretty sure she’s going to pass out. Or torture herself weightlifting, to reach that goal of benchpressing her own body weight. Now, some might would think this is special. It isn’t. These are simply her chosen activities to stay fit and healthy. Everyone has something unique to them. Mediocre Stacy even has a new career developing that some would think is Super. She simply views it as a natural development in regard to the path that she has been on. In fact, this developing career has increased her level of humility.
Mediocre Stacy believes that the current *Everybody is Special* mentality is damaging this country. There are too many parents out there who are raising their children to believe that they’re better than everyone else, and that they will most definitely stand out. This is not true. In fact, most people are average. It has been the goal of Mediocre Stacy, on this site, to promote the fact that, IT’S OKAY TO BE MEDIOCRE. There is no reason to reach out to people, who in reality don’t even matter, to try and convince them that you’re Super. It actually is okay to fall down. It actually is okay to dust yourself off, and put effort into something else you think might be a better use of your time and effort. The real world, the adult world; well, it ain’t youth soccer. You don’t get a trophy for just showing up to work on time.
The most likely answer to that question, is no. There are several reasons I decided to dust this blog off. 1) I’m too lazy to be responsible today. 2) It’s too cold for me to go outside. 3) All the news that’s out there, I’ve already read. Twice. 4) If I send one more text, Verizon will take away my unlimited texts feature. 5) I need to serve a refresher course in Mediocre/Super social order and expectations.
Now . . . If you remember BITD, I took great efforts to try and explain the two varieties of Supers. It has come to my attention, that I perhaps missed out on detailing this further. It would be a good idea to expand on this thought, and define the three types of Mediocres. Below is a chart my Mediocre handwriting put together.
Now, let’s begin. The first Mediocre example is pretty obvious. Those who have gone ahead and accepted the fact that they’re Mediocres. Now, not to say Mediocres can’t accomplish great things. The problem lies with no one of merit happens to notice these accomplishments. It’s like when you’re staying in a nice hotel, leave for the day, come back, and BAM!!! The room is all clean. There is no thought put into who made that occur, it just is.
The second kind of Mediocre, I kind of feel sad for. As with the first kind, they can have great accomplishments; BUT, they believe these accomplishments make them Super. Well, they don’t. I believe their activities and accomplishments genuinely make them happy, but they are mistaken to believe that it raises their level in the Super Caste System. So what they do instead, is attack their fellow Mediocres. That somehow we aren’t supportive enough. Or that we have some kind of self-esteem issues ourselves, and we’re just jealous. This is not the case. We actually feel some pity for this kind of Mediocre. But not for long, because we’re just not passionate enough to sustain that level of interest.
The third kind of Mediocre, I modeled after myself. Yes, I am that skinny these days. See, I accepted at a young age that I was just a Mediocre. But as I pointed out here, a long time ago, I married a Super. So I run around with him, I live off the fruits of his labor, it’s easy to see how I could be mistaken as a Super. I mean, have you seen my hair? That all by itself leads some to believe I’m a Super.
This is a difficult situation for Mediocre Stacy. Do I try and serve witness, yet again, to a Mediocre who thinks they stand a chance at being a Super? Or do I sit back and snicker at the wasted effort they put into it? Maybe I’ll start applying the Three Strikes rule. I mean, what other pro sport can you have a .225 batting average and still make millions of dollars? Sounds kind of Mediocre to me.
I have an admission. Although I am indeed Mediocre Stacy, I have some seriously Super connections. You attend enough political events, you go drinking with enough legislators, you invite candidates over for dinner and share a bottle of tequila with them . . . you end up knowing people. I mean, it’s cool I can make one phone call and set the ball in motion to have someone audited and all; but it’s unsafe for me to try and play that game the Supers do.
Well, in all of my smoked filled, dim lit, back of building rooms, associations; I was given some damaging intel. Many of you know about Governor Romney’s garbage man.
So sad. I know I regularly try and hug my garbage man. He usually pushes me away and says there’s no time in their breakneck schedule for me to sex him up. I guess those California garbage men have more time to work with.
But what I have learned in those dark rooms, pales in comparison to Governor Romney ignoring his garbage man, and the health crisis he and his coworkers spend day in and day out preventing. Brace yourself, this gets ugly.
1) Mitt Romney’s barber states that Romney has never swept up his own hair after it’s cut.
2) Mitt Romney’s waitress at his usual diner, has stated that Governor Romney has not once, wiped up the crumbs he’s left behind after he ate.
3) Mitt Romney’s chauffeur, claims that the Governor has not once, offered to wash the limousine.
4) Mitt Romney’s physician, had to perform Romney’s prostate exam himself. The Governor didn’t even have the decency to check on his behalf.
5) Mitt Romney’s gardner, said the only time the Governor has spoken to him, was to say how lovely the Iris garden is. Nothing was spoken as to who was responsible for its loveliness. Heartless bastard.
6) And finally, and quite possibly the worst. Mitt Romney’s dry cleaner has never even actually seen Romney. He’s so aristocratic, that his personal assistant picks up the dry cleaning for him. His minority dry cleaner has reportedly filed a discrimination lawsuit, claiming that the Governor is simply avoiding him because he’s a racist.
I don’t know what to say, friends. To think that there are people out there, doing their jobs, and receiving nothing more than a paycheck. I don’t know. I don’t know if I can live in a nation that has so little regard for the average American worker.
I’ve discovered the older I get, the more Mediocre I become. This is quite possibly the only thing that I’ve actually gotten better at with time. My youngest son suffers the most, having a Mediocre mother such as myself. Take for example, birthdays. Now, when my older sons were minors, I’d at least give a half-assed effort to provide them some kind of enjoyment for their birthdays. Plan some fun parties at some fun location, with the work done by others of course, because Mediocres cannot be trusted to pull off anything festivous. They were at least able to walk away from those parties with some type of special remembrance. But I can’t even pick up the phone to make those kind of plans anymore. I’ve come to believe that we’re all born with some level of gumption, and that Supers have more, innately, than Mediocres. So with such limited resources, and multiple children, and our own birthdays behind us ever increasing; I think we Mediocres simply run out of it faster than Supers.
For example, my youngest son turned 16 last week. I took one picture of his big moment, and it didn’t even turn out. His head was cut off, the picture is blurry, and I didn’t even bother to try to get a good picture of him with his cake. And in the age of digital photography, I can’t even make the excuse I didn’t know the picture was bad.
I’d like to think that there is a future out there for me that contains some level of concern and drive, but I’ve come to learn that getting my hopes up about being a better person, perhaps even a Super, is all is vain. As I’ve said on here repeatedly, Supers are born, not made. There’s no reason to lie to myself, or you about it.
Mediocre Stacy lost her beloved Mediocre cat, Paws, on April 15th. He was at my side, on my side, on my lap, under my feet, on my head, licking my armpits, chewing on my hair, puking on my carpet, for almost 16 years. There was no greater pet for this gal, and she suffered some very serious grief because of it. I’ll be back posting at some point. Losing a loved one, and yes a pet can be a loved one, makes you examine your life and how you want to spend it. I’m catching up on some work and some projects, but will return soon. Thanks for clicking on this site.
I hope all, Mediocres and Supers alike, had a delightful Easter weekend. Holidays are fabulous, because Mediocres are not excluded from them.
I recognized recently that I’ve gone to great lengths to help Mediocres identify Supers when they’re out and about, yet have entirely neglected the easiest ways to spot our fellow Mediocres. Having this ability can assist us when we are in need of finding one of our own.
Below is a top nine list that I didn’t place much effort into compiling.
9) Nose picking in public. This falls almost exclusively to the male gender in Mediocres. No woman, Mediocre or Super, would consider picking her nose publicly. Most often this can be witnessed while you’re driving. Mediocre men, for whatever reason, believe that it’s mandatory to pick their nose while behind the wheel.
8 ) Women who buy their own flowers. Sometimes, sadly, delivered to them with the *self-flowering* method. Mediocre women usually only receive flowers as a gift if they’re *I’m sorry* flowers. And I’ll tell you, no woman wants *I’m sorry* flowers.
7) Parents/children who utilize the public school system. A Super parent rarely subjects their child to this public institution. When it does happen, it’s usually done by the parent to prepare their child for an adult world that would require the harnessing of Mediocres to propel themselves further in a career field. The variances in the two become more evident upon graduation when a child enrolls in either a community college or a university. Mediocre children most often begin their higher education at the community college level.
6) One hyphenated word. Wal-Mart.
5) Anyone who takes advantage of the opportunities available through their community resource/recreation center. Be it team sports, aerobics, swim lessons or foreign language classes; only Mediocres will take this avenue.
4) One acronym. NASCAR.
3) Google Plus users. Not many know this, but Mark Zuckerberg, himself a Super, sought a Mediocre cleansing of Facebook, and INITIATED the development of Google Plus to try and lure Mediocres elsewhere. The problem with his plan, Mediocres aren’t *in the know*, and had no knowledge of a new social platform. Believe it or not, there are some Mediocres who still use AOL. I know, I know; it’s shocking.
2) A handicapped individual who refuses to park in a handicap space. Because our country *claims* equality for all, it cannot discriminate against handicapped individuals. BUT, when a Mediocre receives a permit to park in a reserved spot, they receive additional instruction on how those spaces are meant for only handicapped Supers. Quite often you will see someone park in a handicap spot without the required permit. Those people are able bodied Supers, and are NEVER ticketed for this supposed violation. This is the dirty underside of government favoritism towards Supers.
1) And the number one way to spot a fellow Mediocre, anyone you see reading a Nicholas Sparks book. A Super would never lower themselves to read such dribble. The interesting twist on this, is that it’s perfectly acceptable in Super circles to see a movie based upon one of his books. This is something I am still analyzing. If I come to a conclusion, I will post on it.
I hope this list helps. And if there’s anything that any of you Mediocres can add, I would appreciate it. We’re surviving our destiny, one day at a time.
My contribution for Good Friday, is to once again, educate Mediocres who strive for Superism. Last week we covered Nadya Suleman, the Octo-Pussy who brought an additional fourteen Mediocre children into the world. The effects were devastating to our half-assed enclave. As a Mediocre, it is my responsibility, it is your responsibility, to act preemptively when we see a fellow Mediocre taking the wrong path.
As I was writing of Suleman last week, across the pond, Mediocres are having to deal with one of their own attempting Superism. Mediocre, Samantha Brick, is stunning the uncool crowd with her warped reality. Here’s an example of the rubbish she’s attempting to pass off as Superism:
“I’m tall, slim, blonde and, so I’m often told, a good-looking woman. I know how lucky I am. But there are downsides to being pretty – the main one being that other women hate me for no other reason than my lovely looks.”
AND . . .
In the second article she appeared to be almost eagerly fanning the flames of outrage, throwing this can of petrol on the fire: “Yes, I have cried on and off all day. But do I regret my article? Not at all. I’m know I’m risking the wrath of the online community once more, but there is an irony to yesterday,” she wrote.
“While I was tearfully dealing with the emails and calls outside the supermarket, a young man approached me, offered to park my car and even get me a coffee. He could see I was having a tough time – and yes, my looks had helped me out again.
“While I’ve been shocked and hurt by the global condemnation, I have just this to say: my detractors have simply proved my point. Their level of anger only underlines that no one in this world is more reviled than a pretty woman.”
In the original article Brick claimed the proof that all those other woman are jealous is that she has never been asked to be a bridesmaid, presumably because she is so much more attractive than everyone around her.
But Samantha Brick is nothing new. Mediocre Stacy remembers one such gal from some years back who attempted to pull the same stunt. Jaqueline Mackie Paisley Passey. Say that five times fast!!! I remember jumping on the Mediocre bandwagon BITD, publicly accosting her on my then, VERY popular site. You know, before social media killed blogs.
Here is a sample of what she posted about herself:
“I am a very high-quality woman. I know that sounds arrogant, but let’s consider the facts:
* I’m slim (whereas 62% of American women age 20 to 74 are overweight)
* I’m attractive (my new picture has been rated more attractive than 86% of the women on Hot or Not — and the women who upload their pictures are a self-selected sample that is probably already biased towards being more attractive than the general female population)
* I’m relatively young (whereas 82% of American adult women are over 30 years old)
* I’m intelligent (IQ tested at 145 when I was a child, which is 3 standard deviations above the mean — higher than 99.85% of the population. Even if I’ve gotten dumber as I’ve aged I’m probably still at least a 130, which is higher than 97.5% of the population.)
* I’m educated (whereas 77% of American women do not have bachelor’s degrees)
* I have my financial shit together (no debt, perfect credit history, 6+ months living expenses saved, adequate insurance, self employed)
* I have a strong libido and love having sex (my lover *never* has to beg, unless it’s for me to let him get some sleep!)
* Most of my interests tend to be more popular with men than women: science fiction, libertarianism, blogging, politics, economics, guns, gambling, etc.”
And lets look at a picture of the lovely, Ms. Passey.
Yes, she indeed is a looker. Ahem.
Now, Mediocre Stacy knows she’s easy on the eyes. BUT it’s not something that I define myself by. As I like to say:
**We’re all just one car accident away from having to wear a bicycle helmet for the rest of our lives.**
Every human, and especially Mediocres, should have a healthy level of humility and self-loathing. It’s keeps us from getting, too big for our britches, so to speak. Ms. Passey and Ms. Brick are two Mediocre peas attempting to move into an upper, east side, pod. Unfortunately for both of these women, these women who believe they’re devastatingly desirable, they are at best, attractive. Attractive in that dark bar, right before closing time, kind of way.
I would strongly suggest to both of these women, that the one thing that would make them less ugly, is to alter their personality. You don’t normally see such an ugly inside on a Mediocre. Years of working to accept your Mediocrity, forces us to self-demote and not develop an inflated sense of self. The parents of these two obviously failed raising their daughters to understand and accept the Mediocre Caste System.
I’m here to help, people. We must increase our Mediocre awareness. We must muzzle individuals like these two. Next week I will address ways to spot Mediocres in public. Make sure you come back, take notes if need be, and maybe one Mediocre at a time, we can make a slight difference in this world.
Praises to Al Gore, PBOH, the interwebz front man. For without him, lessons to the masses in Superism and Mediocrity, could not be obtained. Now, now; I know he didn’t *invent* the internet, but he created a pathway for it’s ability to reach from sea to shining sea. But I digress . . .
Now, if say you or I were to become a little overweight, we take the Mediocre path of diet and exercise to bring ourselves to a healthier state. If you pay close attention, you will notice that weight loss programs, although often give the appearance of targeting Supers in the use of celebrities, are really shooting for us Mediocres. The choices are endless, and really do work if you’re faithful to them.
I was slightly shocked when I saw, ONLINE, that a person who I have always thought seemed like a neat gal, gained most of her weight back after a gastric bypass procedure. She has once again, gone under the knife to address her weight issues. The second surgery was a lap band insertion. This person? One, Carnie Wilson.
I’m not entirely sure, but I’m beginning to believe that weight puts itself back on a Super. Take me for example. If I gain weight, I can ALWAYS attribute it to the fact that I ate some things I shouldn’t have, or maybe I wasn’t working out enough. That whole cause and effect thing. This video of Ms. Wilson tells me that the bodies of a Super are different. She lost 150 pounds after her first surgery, but somehow, 100 of it came back. Maybe it’s the fat’s fault. Lonely, homeless out on the streets . . . it couldn’t handle the hardknock life, so it worked itself back into Ms. Wilson’s person. Why wouldn’t it? She’s adorable and seems like a fun person to be around.
If this happened to a Mediocre, our health insurance provider would strongly recommend psychiatric counsel, rather than surgical procedures. I guess Supers are so Super, that eating or starving their emotions is acceptable in Super Circles. That is a crazy, upside down world those Supers have to live in. Gosh.
Mediocre Stacy knows a little bit about eating disorders, having struggled with anorexia off and on for 20 years. She can personally attest that addressing what lies deep down inside does more good for a person’s health and well being more than any surgery. But I doubt any Super will listen. I am, after all, just a Mediocre.